I COME FIRST

I come from a very huge family. Am the last one in a family of eight kids. I grew up with my cousins and nieces in the same household so sharing of things and caring about others came automatically. My parents ensured that whatever we got was distributed amongst all of us. That upto date when I cook, I have to call a friend over so that we can share the meal I prepared together.

If you know me in person you'll definitely see the traits of caring, compassionate and always giving out a hand to others. Well if you're like Osman, it's all good and that means you had a proper upbringing plus you have a nice personality; the problem comes in when you put others before yourself.

Well,I have been doing that for the longest time. I would rather lack than seeing someone else suffer. And even when I was broke I'd go the extra mile of getting someone a loan using my name. (Needless to say i had to pay back all this money without getting a payback or refund)Well if you take a seat and look at it, that's just SICK. And it's either am too soft or just decided to invest in my stupidity. Which I think I was both and am trying to get out of that.

I won't lie, I've been using money to get myself liked with the guys around me. Ever since I was young my parents would give us pocket money as a way of teaching us how to handle money. Whenever I got it I used to share it out with the guys around me. Which would leave me broke before I got the next round of share. This made me not sure whether if guys liked me for me or whatever I could get them.

Am not asking you to be mean with whatever you have. All am saying is that if you are not in a position to help someone, why over burden yourself to the extent of you being left in a dilemma? You need to learn how to put yourself first. How will the action that you are about to make have an effect on you? If it will be leaving you broke in the next three days then why go through with it? That shows how much you don't care about yourself and the need for you to love and put yourself first in whatever situation you are in.Remember you come first.

Many people are out there to abuse your weaknesses. They are not to blame for that, the only thing you need to learn is how to place yourself in a position where no one takes advantage of you. Learn to say no if the situation is not benefiting you. As much as I'm talking to you, am equally talking to myself. Cause am learning in my life I COME FIRST!

EUROPE UNLEASHED

We touched down at Schipol Airport in Amsterdam at 7AM (GMT +2).If I use the word big for the airport it will be an understatement, since it is among the top fifteen biggest airports in the world. Immediately we came off the plane, it was chilly and your city boy (direct translation of born tao😂) was dressed in nothing but a tee, even after my mum had called me twice to make sure that I had a warm cloth in my carry on bag.(Am not a mama's boy) I still didn't take the advice seriously thinking the weather wont be that harsh. Well, shock on me. Thank God one of my friend's Lutfiyah had carried an extra soul of looking out for others and gave me her Maasai shuka to wrap around myself. Finally I could take in the scene of the airport with the proper awe I had in me.

We went to a Starbucks at the airport and had a frappuccino who's cup was signed with my name on it. Now that assured me that I was truly out of the country, since we didn't enjoy the great Starbucksback in our mother land, Kenya. We waited for approximately two hours before we checked in to our connecting flight to France.

In another life am sure I would have been born in France or better yet if we were to pick nationalities I'll definitely be a French citizen. (Am actually considering doing my post graduate there but that's a story for another day)In short I was not ready for the beauty of France.

To be honest for a minute I was scared of travelling alone without my family because with the few times I've gone outside the country, am always with my family, but I guess we have to grow up at some point. We were picked up and headed to check in to our hotel ready to tour Europe.
The street art from Charles de Gaulle airport to our hotel located in Bagnolet still within Paris was out of this world.

The next day we went to a wax museum Musée de Grévin which had waxed celebrities who looked like humans. Fun fact about the celebrity Wax models were made exactly like their humanbodys. The height and measurements were exactly the same. They had the exact measurements and height with their real human counterparts. The celebrity models were from Holywood actors Angelina Jolie, Brad Pitt, musicians Kary Perry, Michael Jackson politicians Barrack Obama, Macron, Nelson Mandela,without forgetting the religious leaders the Pope. While posing for the pictures with the famous celebrities, my friend Lutfiyah got the shock of her life when one of the waxed models moved and touched her. Talk about screaming, Africa is still well represented. I swear if it was me I would have peed on my self why lie, needless to say maybe she actually did.😂

Hold up! Let's fast rewind I give you all muchene about my crazy friends. Immediately the girls saw our driver they couldn't stop fanning themselves, remember the temperature wasn't hot but they were sweating. Apparently according to them he was one of the sexiest men they had come across. And they started flirting shamelessly . But African children where did you all go wrong?😂 You all need to quench yourselves.

The tour to Eiffel Tower was mind blowing. The queue getting in was the craziest line I had ever seen. But apparently to them that was not a high number compared to other seasons which could actually get worse. Personally I couldn't picture it getting any worse.

Italy was nothing but bliss, am still in thoughts of how some part of venice was built on top of the Mediterranean sea. We took a ride on a gandola (funny bit during rush hour they equally experience traffic, guess we should  call it sea jam instead of traffic jam)which are the boats used to transport guys to different parts. Everything about the venice grand canal just felt out of this world. The sound of the sea and the free neutral air. Two words for it, it was mind boggling.

Rome came with a lot of Italian speaking, we went to a production town, where movies, series, fashion shows and many other visual entertainment shows were created. The name of the place was Cinecitta . Many International movies from Hollywood had been shot here. The place had different settings. From the century the Roman's ruled a better part of the world to the transformation of the new world which was and is done in huge green screens.
If I give you too much details on the other countries I went to you won't go to Europe and I seriously do want you to go and tour and see in person how beautiful and cultural it is. Now with all that shared lemme go get my Huduma namba😉 (Am yet to understand why we need it)

OPINION ENTITLEMENT

"It's too short I can't wear that, what will guys think." Andy says looking in the mirror with distress. "It's fine, are you planning to be a nun? Fuck whatever they think. Look at how it's doing justice to your ass. Yaaas, now you're wearing that" I tell her with an air of finality as I move to the kitchen to get some water.

Am gonna address this blog to you as much as I'll be talking to myself cause this is something I've been  having an issue with for a while. Everyone has an opinion about something. You have an opinion about this,that or the other thing same thing to me. Well if we know each other on a personal level and you have a positive or negative opinion about me, well NEWS FLASH. I equally have one about you, as stupid as it sounds it's like a title for tat game.(You know this is true as much as you'd like to deny it)

One thing we need to understand, someone else's opinion doesn't make a count in your life unless  they're paying your bills; sh*t that's my parents cause they still gat me 😂. Here's the thing, personally everything that I do my folks are usually fine with it, actually it's my mum who encourages me to go out and party (S/O to my mum❤️)cause for a minute there, damn! Actually my whole life until last year, I used to pretend that am a grown up. I'd even  go to an extent of lying about my age cause most of the guys whom I was hanging out with were old so that I won't be judged based on my age. (Son you were a disgrace to your fine self)  Finally I decided to drop that stupid act and started acting my age before I ended up with an anti-stress pill prescription while am still f*cking 20. (Breathes out heavily)

Be you, if you wanna wear anything to make you feel good and appreciate yourself do it. You wanna get into a new venture but you're scared you'll fail, well look at it this way if you fail you won't be the first or the last man in history to fail. Many will be up in that line soon as you're done failing (that statement should receive an award for the worst word of encouragement this year😂)

All am trying to say is be you and don't let what others think of you or whatever you wanna do scare you. Remember you too have an opinion about different things that they (judgers) might be doing that doesn't add up to you but you're still fine with it. So be kind to yourself and enjoy happiness.

So this is another calling to more rowdiness this year ( and they ain't ready). Cause we're young dumb and broke( yes everyone knows when they're broke.😂 To me I consider the version I am right now to be extremely broke and it's okay cause that's my opinion😉)

Pssssst HAPPY NEW YEAR ❤️

OVER Ex's and Oh's😜

The first thing a man is taught by his fellow men whom are older and a bit experienced on matters relationship, is to never fall in love. In that sense they'll be more manly and have their feelings intact. You can have the main dish and several other side dishes,but the main goal is not to fall in love with any of the courses served. Damn ain't that a whole load of crap?🚮 When giving out this advice I don't know if the guys with "the prowess" know and understand that they all fall under the human race.

To love is human. Something experienced by everyone. Even the devil has favorites. The chaps who're ever on the wrong side,even when they ain't at fault, they'll just have something to do with the whole mess.So fellow man,whom are you on Earth not to fall in love?

Caging your feelings and not speaking your heart will make you "more of a man" so they'll say. If you took that advice or not,that's all up to you cause you'll still fall.(Focus! Am not talking about Davido's jam)

So now we've figured out you can fall in love as a  man. Now getting over an Ex whom you loved is a whole cycle. Damn that's hard😏. It will be extra hard if your ex is such a cool person whom you keep up with on texts and bump into at times. One of thy prayers is for them to become a douchebag so that you can find a negative to note about them. But woe unto you that ain't happening. A friend of mine calls it an Ex with the extra cheese. You know the calories you're going to gain ain't perfect for your body but you still crave for it.

We go through different processes getting over Ex's. Some of us will block them, others will keep a distance, get bitchy, some gonna cry, pretend to be normal when they see them,though their heart is putting out an apesh#t performance. Or combine all these into one ball, and come up with a whole episodeof drama.(Love and hip Hop ain't ready for you 😂. Or you pick up the Nairobi Diaries tender cause it seems they're off business) It all depends with an individual, provided the process works and you don't go back to that relationship.

One of the best feelings is getting over someone and just by seeing them they don't awaken any emotions you had for them prior to knowing them. Seeing them smile is just another set of teeth and not your source of joy. Just another random person whom you once knew  You know what am saying? Damn that feels good. It's like you've been healed and now you're cancer free. Feeling free and back to normal, promising yourself you'll never get back to that shit again. Well, only time will tell cause the heart is not so smart(personally I think that's the dumbest shit in our body)

Me: Don't fall for that one, looks like a complicated mess.
Heart: Noooo..... Osman what are you talking about? Better fasten your belt cause we are about to go deep.😌

But hey, if you're planning to fall, just remember to carry your brains along.

Personal blog (1)

"What do you want to do with your life?" A friend of mine asked me this question as we were leaving a lecture room; this question got me really thinking hard. Other than becoming a professional journalist, I've really never thought about what exactly I  do want in my life, other than getting the Range Rover Sports 2018 which blew my brains off and I had to add it to my list of needs,get it right not the wish list😉. 

But come to think of it ,what I need in my life is something close to what my parents have had and shared in their life, not necessarily their profession. The base of their life was peace and happiness, that's how they lived and still do. I'll find them giggling and whispering to each other and I'll be like damn, I need that typa love and self re-assuarance. By peaceful,I mean being happy and contented with where I am and believing in growth over time. Forgiving myself for the mistakes I've done in the past and having the heart to forgive and letting go of that what tried to make me weak.

I have been concentrating a bit too much on my posts and snaps, negative vibes plus other minute things, that I don't remember the last time someone asked me how my day was and I didn't complain how busy and hectic it was. I need to work on getting that uncontrollable laughter frequently and always smiling genuinely, because trying to convince someone that am enjoying a conversation ,yet I've yawned five times in my head is such a difficult task. The next time someone will be asking me how my day was,I want to smile and remember the color of the cloud, the different scents I inhaled, the meal I shared with friends and family during the day. The jokes we shared.Plus other positive highlights of the day I had.Not thinking of how I ran the whole day looking for a printer, stuck in traffic,getting late for a lecture, getting a muscle pull, thinking about the call I had from the HR,"Did I impress them?" and some shit load of term papers, damn that thing needs to be banned in uni😂

I do love travelling and exploring new places, actually there was a point in life when I wanted to be a tourist full time, and when other kids were asked "Champ, what do you want to be when you grow up?" They'd say a doctor, engineer,nurse, lawyer  Then there was lil Osman who'd simply reply, "Ohhh.....A tourist" Am sure my pre school teachers we laughing damn hard, that i equaly cant stop smilling every time someone who knows this story talks about it. I was so fascinated with all this idea that I got a Safari hat from my elder sister who played the role of my santa during one of the Christmas holidays🎅
How I found out that she was the santa clause is a story for another day.

I cannot say I'm a hundred percent that am sure of what I want to do with my life, but taking the first step and writing down some of the things I want to do and starting to work on some of them,I believe that's more than miles covered. That's why I've labelled this blog as number one.

Now here's to living🍻. On that note I think I need a vacation to explore a new place, actually lemme make it a part of a country.  And if you got any idea that I won't be posting some of my activities,then you're WRONG cause am documenting my life for future nolstagic moments. So dearly beloved Press PLAY.😉

"PERFECT CHILDHOOD"

"You guys didn't have life,we had fun during our childhood days".Am sure you've ever heard that phrase more than once and trust you me that's the one thing I hate the most from having a conversation with older guy(s).They have this mentality or should I call it a believe that they are the only ones who were entitled to a childhood that was great and you are just another cerelac / weetabix baby.
They claim to have played soccer by making their own ball from nylon papers,well they don't need to rain check that because we equally did that and had an advantage cause we enjoyed other different things than playing football the whole Saturday.We got to play PS1 when it came out,PC games,who remembers Super Mario and Road Rush?Damn son now that was a f**king childhood."You guys were never caned,am telling you the beatings we underwent"Now help me understand this like a 4 year old,where is the fun in being caned?And it's not like we were not canned because my mother had a prowess in this.But where's the fun there? #SMH.

The comparison of this generations is like someone trying to tell you that eating boiled food is better than a gourmet meal.I went through my family photo album and the clothes which my two brothers were wearing,I couldn't hold my self with the laughter.They were paired up in their clothing you couldn't tell whom was whom,to cut it short they looked like a sample of tailoring gone to the worst side(cross my fingers that my brothers don't get to read this and if they do,they definitely know that they looked like a duo mess).
Bruv let's not lie to ourselves,you can pretend as you like about how perfect your childhood was but we all know the truth deep inside.Its like the millennial generation telling the future generation that they never had fun in their childhood just because they never used a polythene bag in their lives.Makes sense to you?Now that's how you sound when you talk about your perfect childhood compared to the rest.So the next time we are having a conversation about childhood,you better let the millennial generation go first because they have some few things to teach you guys from the older generation.

BEGGARS CANNOT BE CHOSERS

It's on a Saturday,the evening is just kicking in;I'm from Jamia Mall,where I had gone to buy some jeans and shoes.As I walk along the Jamia Mosque trying to cross the road with my little purchases,listening to some music on my ear phones.I feel a tap on my shoulder which immediately sends a voltaic feeling across my body.We can all add an ayeee... that Nairobi has not been one of the safest places especially during the past four months.Thus,getting a poke when you are in town without your squad who are the ones  responsible for this,as a sign of asking you to check out a hot shawty is totally unwelcome.

I look back and find a young woman covered  in a black hijab."Nilikuwa naomba usaidizi,sijala tangu jana na nimemwacha mwanangu nyumbani."
Since I didn't have enough change on me I decided to buy her a meal so that I could get the extra cash I wanted to give her."I don't have loose cash with me but..."My but hanged mid air since the lady interrupted me immediately "Msenge wewe,nyinyi wanaume mnajifanya kuvaa na kuongea kizungu nyingi ndo hamna chochote.Mwangalie vile anakaa mashida,miye mwenyewe naweza jitolea nikupe usaidizi.Mwanaume bure kabisa."She says this with a distasteful tone and starts walking away.Am left there perplexed and transfixed.I was willing to help her out, actually even go an extra mile of buying her a meal since she said she was hungry.

Unfortunately am not the only one who's undergone this,my dear friend Samira went through the same ordeal.The interesting part is that it happened to her around the same viscinity.She was coming from one of the coffee houses with a mug of a cold latte and some pie,super hungry ready to feed on the whole world when she was stopped by some teenagers.Some of them looked as if they were in their early 20s.The chaps asked Samira to buy them some yoghurt which had toppings from planet yoghurt.Samira instead offered to give them Ksh.300 which they could use to buy anything of their choice"Hatutaki hiyo tunataka kenye tumekuambia" One of the teenagers said.Samira couldn't believe what she was hearing,the audacity of this teens to end up demanding for what they exactly wanted.So Samira told them she couldn't help them out on that issue.They decided to take back the 3sok they had been offered prior"Too late I equally can't help you out on that as well"Samira says as she keeps on walking,heading to her taxi.

"Wewe aunty uko na roho chafu na vile wewe ni mkonde na sura mbaya"They said this to her on a high voice.Samira couldn't believe her ears,to think that she was about to help them with whatever little she had.Another place where begging is a norm it's around archives and if you don't contribute with a coin to their begging,then consider it a "crime".But let me save you from those encounters for another day.

I do believe this is a mirror to our society.We feel entitled to being given some pocket money by our elder family members,god parents and if not we find them not to being "cool".If you don't give the lazy squad back at your hood some money "ya macho" then you're termed "mtiaji".Boo you're not entitled to being given handouts by anyone.Work your sorry a** off.This is one of the major reasons why gangs such as Mungiki and Gaza are being formed,because they believe they are entitled to your cash because of some "security" they are offering.I believe am paying for this via taxes,aren't I?

I have made a resolution,provided you're young,healthy,up on your two feet and walking.I won't offer you cash unless you work for it.I know we are from different social backgrounds but we all can do different manual jobs.It will only cost you a soap to start up a shoe cleaning business.It's easier to get someone's extra coins when you offer to wash their shoes,as it is always dusty or muddy.And icing to the cake you've earned it cause you worked for it.Other than being given hand outs that you've started deeming as your right.Unless it's a new or a reasonable call am hanging up on this one.