Saturday, 11 August 2018

OVER Ex's and Oh's😜

The first thing a man is taught by his fellow men whom are older and a bit experienced on matters relationship, is to never fall in love. In that sense they'll be more manly and have their feelings intact. You can have the main dish and several other side dishes,but the main goal is not to fall in love with any of the courses served. Damn ain't that a whole load of crap?🚮 When giving out this advice I don't know if the guys with "the prowess" know and understand that they all fall under the human race.

To love is human. Something experienced by everyone. Even the devil has favorites. The chaps who're ever on the wrong side,even when they ain't at fault, they'll just have something to do with the whole mess.So fellow man,whom are you on Earth not to fall in love?

Caging your feelings and not speaking your heart will make you "more of a man" so they'll say. If you took that advice or not,that's all up to you cause you'll still fall.(Focus! Am not talking about Davido's jam)

So now we've figured out you can fall in love as a  man. Now getting over an Ex whom you loved is a whole cycle. Damn that's hard😏. It will be extra hard if your ex is such a cool person whom you keep up with on texts and bump into at times. One of thy prayers is for them to become a douchebag so that you can find a negative to note about them. But woe unto you that ain't happening. A friend of mine calls it an Ex with the extra cheese. You know the calories you're going to gain ain't perfect for your body but you still crave for it.

We go through different processes getting over Ex's. Some of us will block them, others will keep a distance, get bitchy, some gonna cry, pretend to be normal when they see them,though their heart is putting out an apesh#t performance. Or combine all these into one ball, and come up with a whole episodeof drama.(Love and hip Hop ain't ready for you 😂. Or you pick up the Nairobi Diaries tender cause it seems they're off business) It all depends with an individual, provided the process works and you don't go back to that relationship.

One of the best feelings is getting over someone and just by seeing them they don't awaken any emotions you had for them prior to knowing them. Seeing them smile is just another set of teeth and not your source of joy. Just another random person whom you once knew  You know what am saying? Damn that feels good. It's like you've been healed and now you're cancer free. Feeling free and back to normal, promising yourself you'll never get back to that shit again. Well, only time will tell cause the heart is not so smart(personally I think that's the dumbest shit in our body)
Me: Don't fall for that one, looks like a complicated mess.
Heart: Noooo..... Osman what are you talking about? Better fasten your belt cause we are about to go deep.😌

But hey, if you're planning to fall, just remember to carry your brains along.

Monday, 30 July 2018

Personal blog (1)

"What do you want to do with your life?" A friend of mine asked me this question as we were leaving a lecture room; this question got me really thinking hard. Other than becoming a professional journalist, I've really never thought about what exactly I  do want in my life, other than getting the Range Rover Sports 2018 which blew my brains off and I had to add it to my list of needs,get it right not the wish list😉. 

But come to think of it ,what I need in my life is something close to what my parents have had and shared in their life, not necessarily their profession. The base of their life was peace and happiness, that's how they lived and still do. I'll find them giggling and whispering to each other and I'll be like damn, I need that typa love and self re-assuarance. By peaceful,I mean being happy and contented with where I am and believing in growth over time. Forgiving myself for the mistakes I've done in the past and having the heart to forgive and letting go of that what tried to make me weak.

I have been concentrating a bit too much on my posts and snaps, negative vibes plus other minute things, that I don't remember the last time someone asked me how my day was and I didn't complain how busy and hectic it was. I need to work on getting that uncontrollable laughter frequently and always smiling genuinely, because trying to convince someone that am enjoying a conversation ,yet I've yawned five times in my head is such a difficult task. The next time someone will be asking me how my day was,I want to smile and remember the color of the cloud, the different scents I inhaled, the meal I shared with friends and family during the day. The jokes we shared.Plus other positive highlights of the day I had.Not thinking of how I ran the whole day looking for a printer, stuck in traffic,getting late for a lecture, getting a muscle pull, thinking about the call I had from the HR,"Did I impress them?" and some shit load of term papers, damn that thing needs to be banned in uni😂

I do love travelling and exploring new places, actually there was a point in life when I wanted to be a tourist full time, and when other kids were asked "Champ, what do you want to be when you grow up?" They'd say a doctor, engineer,nurse, lawyer  Then there was lil Osman who'd simply reply, "Ohhh.....A tourist" Am sure my pre school teachers we laughing damn hard, that i equaly cant stop smilling every time someone who knows this story talks about it. I was so fascinated with all this idea that I got a Safari hat from my elder sister who played the role of my santa during one of the Christmas holidays🎅
How I found out that she was the santa clause is a story for another day.

I cannot say I'm a hundred percent that am sure of what I want to do with my life, but taking the first step and writing down some of the things I want to do and starting to work on some of them,I believe that's more than miles covered. That's why I've labelled this blog as number one.

Now here's to living🍻. On that note I think I need a vacation to explore a new place, actually lemme make it a part of a country.  And if you got any idea that I won't be posting some of my activities,then you're WRONG cause am documenting my life for future nolstagic moments. So dearly beloved Press PLAY.😉

Sunday, 18 March 2018


"You guys didn't have life,we had fun during our childhood days".Am sure you've ever heard that phrase more than once and trust you me that's the one thing I hate the most from having a conversation with older guy(s).They have this mentality or should I call it a believe that they are the only ones who were entitled to a childhood that was great and you are just another cerelac / weetabix baby.
They claim to have played soccer by making their own ball from nylon papers,well they don't need to rain check that because we equally did that and had an advantage cause we enjoyed other different things than playing football the whole Saturday.We got to play PS1 when it came out,PC games,who remembers Super Mario and Road Rush?Damn son now that was a f**king childhood."You guys were never caned,am telling you the beatings we underwent"Now help me understand this like a 4 year old,where is the fun in being caned?And it's not like we were not canned because my mother had a prowess in this.But where's the fun there? #SMH.

The comparison of this generations is like someone trying to tell you that eating boiled food is better than a gourmet meal.I went through my family photo album and the clothes which my two brothers were wearing,I couldn't hold my self with the laughter.They were paired up in their clothing you couldn't tell whom was whom,to cut it short they looked like a sample of tailoring gone to the worst side(cross my fingers that my brothers don't get to read this and if they do,they definitely know that they looked like a duo mess).
Bruv let's not lie to ourselves,you can pretend as you like about how perfect your childhood was but we all know the truth deep inside.Its like the millennial generation telling the future generation that they never had fun in their childhood just because they never used a polythene bag in their lives.Makes sense to you?Now that's how you sound when you talk about your perfect childhood compared to the rest.So the next time we are having a conversation about childhood,you better let the millennial generation go first because they have some few things to teach you guys from the older generation.

Tuesday, 27 February 2018


It's on a Saturday,the evening is just kicking in;I'm from Jamia Mall,where I had gone to buy some jeans and shoes.As I walk along the Jamia Mosque trying to cross the road with my little purchases,listening to some music on my ear phones.I feel a tap on my shoulder which immediately sends a voltaic feeling across my body.We can all add an ayeee... that Nairobi has not been one of the safest places especially during the past four months.Thus,getting a poke when you are in town without your squad who are the ones  responsible for this,as a sign of asking you to check out a hot shawty is totally unwelcome.

I look back and find a young woman covered  in a black hijab."Nilikuwa naomba usaidizi,sijala tangu jana na nimemwacha mwanangu nyumbani."
Since I didn't have enough change on me I decided to buy her a meal so that I could get the extra cash I wanted to give her."I don't have loose cash with me but..."My but hanged mid air since the lady interrupted me immediately "Msenge wewe,nyinyi wanaume mnajifanya kuvaa na kuongea kizungu nyingi ndo hamna chochote.Mwangalie vile anakaa mashida,miye mwenyewe naweza jitolea nikupe usaidizi.Mwanaume bure kabisa."She says this with a distasteful tone and starts walking away.Am left there perplexed and transfixed.I was willing to help her out, actually even go an extra mile of buying her a meal since she said she was hungry.

Unfortunately am not the only one who's undergone this,my dear friend Samira went through the same ordeal.The interesting part is that it happened to her around the same viscinity.She was coming from one of the coffee houses with a mug of a cold latte and some pie,super hungry ready to feed on the whole world when she was stopped by some teenagers.Some of them looked as if they were in their early 20s.The chaps asked Samira to buy them some yoghurt which had toppings from planet yoghurt.Samira instead offered to give them Ksh.300 which they could use to buy anything of their choice"Hatutaki hiyo tunataka kenye tumekuambia" One of the teenagers said.Samira couldn't believe what she was hearing,the audacity of this teens to end up demanding for what they exactly wanted.So Samira told them she couldn't help them out on that issue.They decided to take back the 3sok they had been offered prior"Too late I equally can't help you out on that as well"Samira says as she keeps on walking,heading to her taxi.

"Wewe aunty uko na roho chafu na vile wewe ni mkonde na sura mbaya"They said this to her on a high voice.Samira couldn't believe her ears,to think that she was about to help them with whatever little she had.Another place where begging is a norm it's around archives and if you don't contribute with a coin to their begging,then consider it a "crime".But let me save you from those encounters for another day.

I do believe this is a mirror to our society.We feel entitled to being given some pocket money by our elder family members,god parents and if not we find them not to being "cool".If you don't give the lazy squad back at your hood some money "ya macho" then you're termed "mtiaji".Boo you're not entitled to being given handouts by anyone.Work your sorry a** off.This is one of the major reasons why gangs such as Mungiki and Gaza are being formed,because they believe they are entitled to your cash because of some "security" they are offering.I believe am paying for this via taxes,aren't I?

I have made a resolution,provided you're young,healthy,up on your two feet and walking.I won't offer you cash unless you work for it.I know we are from different social backgrounds but we all can do different manual jobs.It will only cost you a soap to start up a shoe cleaning business.It's easier to get someone's extra coins when you offer to wash their shoes,as it is always dusty or muddy.And icing to the cake you've earned it cause you worked for it.Other than being given hand outs that you've started deeming as your right.Unless it's a new or a reasonable call am hanging up on this one.

Wednesday, 14 February 2018


When they say love makes one not think straight,trust you me this is an understatement.You'll not only not think straight but also think about the person you love constantly.I had known Tom for three months now and each time we met,I'd fall deeper.The  trick my heart was performing was way too complex for my brain to interpret.
The first time I met him.I never thought it was going to be a big deal since there was nothing extra ordinary about him.He had a simple look on him plus his sense of fashion was modest .He was older and if you gave him a kin look you would notice that he looked way more mature from his experiences with life. From a distance,you could pick up his native accent.My ideal man wasn't supposed to look or sound anything close to him other than his height which he was a 6ft.Feel me when I tell you that I couldn't put it around my fingers why I loved him unconditionally?I guess that's where the love string angels decided to do a turn on me,cause immediately we shared our first kiss,I had my left leg mid way on the air drown to him like a drug.

Being the girl,guys used to ask me out a lot, but in this case I used to ask him out on dates which he'll postpone or worse yet not show up.I remember this time when we had decided to take go out on a coffee date,I waited for him for 45 minutes before I decided to place my order."Excuse me miss your next lattè will be on the house."The waiter said this to me sheepishly.I was on my 4th cup,I guess the coffee shop hadn't received a singular person who had consumed way too many cups than me or better yet they were trying to cheer me up with a free lattè cause I had a devastated look on my face.This was one of the many occasions where I got stood up with no perfect explanation and when I asked him he would shrug it off with how busy his day was.Not with a text or a call to inform me of the cancellation.My friends would discourage me from all this calling it a toxic relationship,only shared by one and pleaded with me to let it go,"Sheila you deserve way better than this."I knew this all way to well but NO!I wanted the unlovable Tom.This went on for a while,every time I would expect him to change for the better.That's when it hit me that if we took a break,it would give him some breathing space so that he would know exactly what he wanted.I would tell him we needed to talk but every time I saw his smile,the taking a break talk would fly away.As much as I loved him,I knew I had to end the cycle I was in.I couldn't leave with the hurt I felt inside."Babe I think we should take a break with our relationship." "Our relationship?"He said coolly with his eyes still fixed on the road. "Yeah,you've not been acting right.I need to feel your presence in my life,get response to my texts,a call or two during or after the day;but you only talk to me once in a while or when you want us to hook up something that I don't think I can keep up with."I said with a fragile voice and teary eyes. "But I don't remember having been in a relationship with you.It was all fun,wasn't it on your side?And I thought you knew am dating Brenda"He said with a boyish grin. "Who's Brenda?"...

Stick around for part 2

Sunday, 14 January 2018


So I have been contemplating a big deal whether if to write this or not but well you’ve gotten a notification of my new blog alert so am definitely writing (LOL). We all have our new year resolution(s) ,trust me even if you never jotted it down you have it somewhere at the back of your mind. If I talk about my resolutions you’ll most probably laugh or roll your eyes thrice and if that’s the case you’ve got to read this.

Being negative about someone or something can’t help you with anything. If I share with you what I want it won’t cost you your life to support me or the dream am having; and that’s the reason as to why I shared it with you. Cause I trust you as a friend even if I posted it on social media.
The rate of hate on social media is on the rise each and every day that people are going ahead to make pseudo accounts just to hate on others. Why? Because we have termed hate to being savage and savagery is seen as cool. Why don't you post your bitter comments with your real account?

Be savage AF with the memes but don’t go ahead and hurt others or try to block their light or lessons.
If you’re dealing with your insecurity don’t hurt others by calling them names or laughing at the steps they are making, confide in someone and let them help you out with your difficulties ,not trying to get your bile into other peoples lives. You are not sure about what the other person is going through, feeling or what state they are in, let's not be cyber bullies. If your remark won’t help me out keep it to yourself, if you don’t feel like giving a helping hand don’t bother stretching it and that way you won’t hurt anyone.

If you think my resolution or general idea won’t work out. Why don’t you tell it straight me straight to my face(Okay that you might do) then give me a reason as to why you think it will not work out and if you have a solution to it please state it as well. That’s what’s called positive critique; don’t just give me a negative vibe because you can’t stand the sight of anything good coming my way.
If its weight am battling with remind me not to get that cheese burger when I do have cravings for it, why? Cause am on a mission of losing weight. Not counting days to when I’ll give up and get back to #JunkMode.

Other chaps will just keep on being negative cause that's what they can do best,well what do you do? Ignore them and get a new clique or someone who'll motivate you.

 Make it your responsibility to be positive this year be positive for your own sake, if it counts pray for the betterment of your friends and “haters as well” not posting all over social media how your hater will die when we clearly know no one minds your isht.(Lets leave that conversation for some other time)

So dear bruv and sis stay woke and POSITIVE.This is just to wish you a HAPPY NEW YEAR even though am late to say this cheers mate.

Monday, 4 December 2017


Dear Kenyan Male Youth,

I hope this letter finds you well, even though on my side, I have deep worries and sorrows about our future. We have taken to all the negative vices like a fish takes to water. Drugs, gambling, theft you name it all. Where are we heading as the male youths of this country? To self destruction. You thought it was a joke when we were being told we are the future leaders. Well in a few we will be taking up that responsibility, the only problem is that am not sure whether if we are ready to wear that shoe.

The one thing am sure we are ready for is dating a light skin chiq, whom we have already pictured in our minds carrying our kids. You want her pregnant so that she'll sire a brown skin kid who has your blood running in their veins. For pete's sake is this where the society has gotten us to?(I hope Sauti Sol's Melanin jam will help us get it right with the complexion issue which is a menace on its own)

Where did we go wrong, we need to trace that bad step we took because it's turning us to the worst  male generation. Cry for us, yes you should be sobbing right now, cause have you taken your time and wondered what kind of fathers we are going to be? Ohhh....You didn't know that you were going to be a father in a few years from now? Then what about the light skin you want to impregnate so bad, do you think that kid will call you uncle? Well the joke is definitely on you because your wife is also waiting for you to be the head of a family, your family. To give them a positive moral direction, financial stability, security to mention just but a few. But what are we doing? Spending more than half of the day analyzing soccer matches so that we can place a bet on the way too many gambling sites,then later on we'll say how these gambling sites "zinanyonya".

Now you are shedding tears, need a tissue?

When was the last time you had a manly conversation with your dad? You don't have a dad, talk to your uncle, if not get a father figure and do the talking with them. Have a conversation with them when mending the fences, herding the cows, when you are out the two of you. I know it's not that easy to have a conversation with them but start up with a random topic then get on to serious business. We need their advices in the steps we are to take in life and that's why what an old man sees when he's seated a child cannot see on top of a tree.

We have to get this right. The earth does not need your "coolness" to keep on rotating around the sun; but your family in the near future will need your knowledge and wisdom to keep them on the right path. Invest with the little you have, it will pay off. That's the one thing my dad keeps on telling me. Everything has a starting point, it does not take the swinging of a magic wand to be a business mogul, but years of great investment, hard work and ambition. Let's not wait nor work for these short cuts, cause when it comes crumbling it will be hard to pick up ourselves. Let's be responsible for all that we have done and we are going to do. We need no more dead beat fathers, drunkards, thugs, jobless and irresponsible youths. Let's start living responsibly like our fore fathers and fathers for the oncoming male generations to be a success; because when their time to lead comes, what mantle will we bring forth to them? 

Yours Faithfully,
Osman Ngunyi